A Talk With An Old Friend

I had a nice talk with a dear friend of mine today. We go 'way back to our younger days of going to discos and clubs and making candlelit dinners for ourselves just because we deserved it! We dyed each other's hair, made homemade face creams, did facials while listening to music and gossiping. Her apartment was my haven during a time is of severe grief in which I suffered a severe nervous breakdown. The truth is I owe her my life for she was my "mother hen".

She hasn't changed much through the years either. She is as youthful as ever and no, I will NOT say her age other than she is a Michelle Pfeiffer look alike. My daughter and her son are both grown and, true to the type of mothers we were (for better or worse), they each as the saying goes march to their own drums. In my daughter's case, she makes her own drums!

Life gave each of us hardships that we wondered how we endured, we each lost beloveds and today, as in my younger days, I listened to her wisdom. We were talking about the whys of life. Why does one person suffer recurring bouts of cancer while another cannot survive one. Why do some people's lives seem only peppered with sorrow while others meet sorrow on their journey over and over again.

She said, "We will go crazy if we analyze why this and why that. Sometimes we have to accept that this is how life is." (She is a hospice Christian Chaplain and sees death and dying everyday) Recently she helped an elderly friend get into a nursing home near her home so she can look over her. She, like I, wonder (or perhaps fear) what our old age will be like. "I look at Betty (our friend) and realize that time is too short to waste on worrying. This is the time for laughter and to not let anything bother you. We each have to find a way to just accept and not waste our lives in worry and fear and death will come for all of us anyway. I want to just live my life to the fullest.

I, like so many other people, sometimes languish in the shadow of past memories. Beyond nostalgia, it is a place of loss and missed opportunities. Recently I went through a period of mourning my losses over the years and those who have read my writings know they have been many. The hardest part of moving forward from personal loss is the guilt of moving forward. It is as if moving forward is somehow a betrayal, somehow we feel deep down inside that it is wrong to stop grieving. But we never stop grieving. It just takes on a different persona in the guise of "adjusting". There is nothing wrong with moments of sadness for what was or what wasn't. The problem becomes how can we move forward joyfully?

I began to work myself through this period by getting up very early every morning and having my coffee and barn chores done early. I began exercising more and redecorated the living room with my husband. These are all steps to moving forward when stuck in a mental space we want to get out of.

Talking to old friends who knew you way back when one week you were a blond, the next a red head helps too. Remembering the fun reignites the feeling and the brain cannot tell a real experience from a remembered or imagined one so recalling laughter uplifts in the present which is another step in moving forward.

We had our conversation much earlier in the day and when I hung up I had no idea our heart to heart would become my blog today. Writers are funny that way. It can be a picture or a song or a cow that brings forth some tidbit of writing but today it was reconnecting with a dear friend.

We spoke of getting together with the gaggle of gals we used to hang out with in a hotel room with booze, pajamas and food and just laughing about the old days. Oh, and we won't cook our meal. We've earned the right to be served!

By The Finger Nails

by Cate Cavanagh

So many people I speak to are going extremely difficult times. This is not happenstance. This is all cosmic. A cleansing of the old is usually very painful and manifests in hardship, illness and desperation.

Many are so overwhelmed the mental capacity to cope has been impaired. Often when it seems we cannot take one more thing something happens. In short, many of us have not had a break from worry or sadness in a very long time. At times like these we are challenged to trust the Universe. More than this every day gets more and painful to endure. Our nerves become frazzled, our despair looms over us and we wait for the third shoe to drop. Whereas we talk about working at eliminating negative thoughts the cosmic truth is sometimes we must experience upsetting things so new, positive energies can come in. Many people say "When God closes the door, He opens a window" but waiting for that window to open can be horribly stressful at times.

Difficult times may come in cycles for you. Try to think about when your challenges began and try to figure out how long the onslaught lasts. Does it last days? Weeks? Months? In my case challenges have happened in five month cycles and have lasted for three months. Do the math. I have known challenging times a lot. So, how do you handle your harsh experiences? Are you emotionally white knuckling your days? Are you handling your life "One day at a time?" I have often had to handle days one second at a time, holding on by my finger tips. The main thing is to get through your upset as graciously as possible.

When white knuckling your life, try to keep in mind that a lull must happen. The Universe works this way. Try to discover what the lessons are for your life. This can help you not only understand what is happening but how to avoid a repetition of the problem. If you are having financial difficulty, for example, accept that perhaps poor judgement on your part created the problem. Get all your information together and go to a credit counseling agency that can manage your bills, your bill payments and actually leave you with more money in your pocket a month. Take action and the Universe will respond.

The difficult truth is we can make changes but may have to take drastic action especially when it comes to painful and toxic relationships and recurring upsets. On any real spiritual journey accountability for how we may have encouraged our problems is called for. Once we do this the Universe will open new pathways and bring positivity into our lives.



First it is a call to shed the old to make room for the new. We may need to shed old ideas, unrealistic goals and modify dreams. Modifying or redefining our dreams is the second message, for Lizard is the totem of dreams. Lizard medicine can take dreams and make them reality. We may need to look behind us to determine what "shadows" are holding us back and how we can use the realm of shadows to create a positive reality beginning with dreams. It also lets us know if we are not getting enough sleep or dreamtime. Dreamtime is the realm in which we problem solve and rest the mind as well as the body. The mind needs dreamtime to work through issues whether we remember them or not so dreamtime is also a shadow realm. The body needs dreamtime to rest as well so we can be better equipped to meet the following day.

Above all else, Lizard is a call to allow our imaginations to take hold. Imagination is the mother of dreams, daydreams, goals, hopes and wishes and if we do not wish or daydream we cannot hope that our dreams can come true.